Live your principles.
This quote from David O. McKay expresses very well what I think about parenting: “The most effective teaching of children is through living with them. If you would teach faith in God, show faith in Him yourself; if you would teach prayer, pray yourself; would you have your children honest, then be honest yourself; would you have them temperate, then you yourself refrain from intemperance; if you would have your child live a life of virtue, of self-control, of good report, then set him a worthy example in all these things.” Living the principles you are teaching will fortify your children when questions and doubts and wants arise. (David O. McKay, Secrets of a Happy Life, compiled by Llewelyn R. McKay, 1967, page 11)
My children have active BS meters. My eldest daughter, when age 4, was told to get dressed. “Why?” she asked. “Are we going somewhere?” She noticed the pattern that I cared about clean clothes when we were out in public, but not so much when we stayed home. My fourth daughter frequently asked during homeschool, “Why are we doing this? What’s it for?” If I didn’t have a good reason, by her standards, then she wouldn’t do the work. I learned to require only things I could justify, and I learned that occasionally I would have to pick her up and move her, because she was not persuaded. I have had to learn consistency and I have had to apologize many, many times.
My eldest daughter took my youngest son sledding the other day. They took three sleds from the basement. I drove separately, slid a few times, posed for a picture, fell on my behind with my legs in the air, and went home. They returned a few hours later. My son and daughter looked intently at me as they said, “We gave away one of the sleds. There was a 12 year old boy with his little brother. His brother had a sled but he did not, and he asked if he could borrow ours. When we were ready to leave, he was still using it, so we told him to keep it. It felt like a Mom thing to do.”
My heart is full. They are doing good in the world. I am grateful.
