Grow perspective.

You can’t hand someone else perspective. They have to grow their own. It’s like faith; you put in the work to recognize where you are, where you want to be, and what other people are seeing. If you don’t recognize where you are, emotionally, you won’t be able to change it effectively. There are some default things you can do: get enough sleep, eat appropriate amounts of healthy food, exercise, clean your body and your environment.

Mom’s job is professional attitude adjuster. She is expected to know what children need, even when they’re fighting it. She is expected to put her foot down and insist on what’s better, even when she wants to throw up her hands in disgust. It’s okay to throw up your hands; it’s not okay to stay down. It’s okay to sigh and rest. It’s not okay to give up. Tomorrow, or later today, Mom still needs to insist. Behavior needs to change; you must not hurt other people and you must not hurt yourself. Hurting things… well… it happens, and it’s not good, exactly, but if it’s a choice between hurting things and hurting people, smash that object instead. Then stop. Withdraw. Breathe deeply. Refocus and think.

Our children learn from us what to do when life overwhelms. Part of growing up is valuing naps, taking time to recharge, pondering, doing boring tasks and making music. You grow your own perspective, and you show them how to grow and change, with grace and patience. It’s doable.